"Life is too important to be taken seriously."

-Oscar Wilde

Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Christmas Markets -

in Düsseldorf have officially opened.

And, I'm beginning to sense a recurrent theme:


Christmas 2006:
(Caspi-Man on green tractor)

Christmas 2007:
(Caspi-Man on blue/yellow tractor)




Christmas 2008:
(Caspi-Man on blue/yellow tractor)






To be fair - he also likes the fire-engines and the little areoplane. And, I must admit I quite like the Glühwein stand next door.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

No emails today!

Last week, my mother, (hi mum!) forwarded an email to almost everyone on her contact list that said:

No Emails Today!
Something has crashed on my computer.
And the mouse is missing!






Cute, huh?

But this week, this has started to happen:




The mouse is still there, but you wouldn't believe the google searches that have occurred, and my opening page is now a "syntax error"....

Monday, November 17, 2008

Brilliant Things About Germany No.223

The KINO.

As in Cinema.

Or, more precisely - the cinema candy bar.

Not because it's more reasonably priced than those in other countries (because, just like other countries- it most definitely is not!), nor because it has such a great range of snacks (although the nachos with guacamole or cheesey dip rate a mention), but rather- BECAUSE YOU CAN BUY GROG to drink while you watch the movie.

Even when it's an afternoon viewing of Der Mund Bär.
Or should that be - especially when it's an afternoon viewing of Der Mund Bär!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

To the 'brav'- 'Sinne' is a 'Gift'...

Beware, English speakers, of thinking there are short-cuts to understanding Deutsch.

Sure, many words have similarities. Common roots and all that. Butter, Milch, Tee & Kaffee can be deduced quite easily (even first thing in the morning- over breakfast).

Infact, many, many words ARE the same- just pronounced with a German accent.

But then, there are words like the above. Words that can lull you into thinking it's possible to glean their meaning- based on perceived English counterparts.

"Brav"- can be translated as 'well behaved', even 'demure'.
"Sinne" - are the senses. As in, to brought to your senses.
& "Gift" - is poison. As in toxic.

All of which, is quite different from English...

Monday, November 3, 2008

A few BIG FAT LIES about parenthood:

Some would call them "myths" - but that would be an euphemism. They are lies!

BIG FAT LIE #1: Breast-feeding helps you to lose weight.

Perhaps this is true for some, but after enduring the Caspi-Man spending the last 4 months of his gestation compacting my stomach (in a manner I can only describe as akin to gastric stapling) I was thrilled, after the birth - to be able to finally fill it again. And, fill it, I did. (Well, I could eat prawns again. And soft cheeses. And smoked salmon. And ... etc.) Suffice to say I put on only 7 kgs during the pregnancy, lost a bit after the birth, and retained at least 9 until the Caspi-Man was weaned a mere 18 or so months later. (See mum, I told you it'd happen before he went to school!)

BIG FAT LIE # 2: They don't stray out of sight of their parents during the toddler years. It is in an inbuilt survival instinct retained from cave-man times.

Quite a few of the child-rearing books I'd read mentioned this. (& The Caspi-Man, goddammit, didn't read those books. How much easier life would be if only he had.) While it is true that he hasn't been eaten by a saber-tooth tiger (or at least to the best of my knowledge he hasn't) there are many other things that potentially could have happened while he was ignoring (or rather blatantly violating) this so called 'natural' instinct.


But,perhaps the BIGGEST FATTEST LIE of them all, is that, once they're toilet- trained - you get your handbag back.

LIE. LIE. LIE!

By this stage they're able to make their own insertions into your bag. Often without your knowledge...

Spoken as one who has just cleaned out her bag and discovered she's been carting around, not one, not even two, but FIVE little cars, one tractor, random bits of lego, a mouse of Olli's, two books, THREE ROCKS (!?!? Yes, people, garden variety ROCKS! And we don't even have a garden!), and roughly one small handful of dried cat food...

(nb: this is by no means an exhaustive list...)

Pub sign

This came to me via an email from The Godfather (aka Uncle G in Sydney) and even though it riled me (bloody sexist stereotypes, perhaps?) - it also made me laugh...
.
Sign reads:
* Husband Creche*
Is he getting under your feet?
Why not leave him here while you SHOP!!
Free creche, just pay for his drinks!

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