Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................

Not only has it been the 2nd gloomiest winter on record here in Deutschland, it has also been bone-chillingly cold. So cold in fact, that someone has actually knitted a scarf for the temporary water pipe on the Kö.

Can it please be spring soon?

Bound to come in handy...

I have just learnt that Nauru, the world's smallest island nation, was held by Germany from 1888 to the outbreak of WWI in 1914, at which point it was seized by ... 

guess which country?

As a general rule-

many Germans like to make fun of their Dutch neighbours for their caravan-ing ways. (In some circles this is a national past-time.) If they're not making fun of them, then they'll be complaining about them clogging up the autobahns during peak holiday times with their mobile homes.

I find this attitude a bit rich when one considers that the Deutsch population supports 4 (yes, FOUR!!) specialist caravan-ing magazines:

Two of which put out additional summer editions...

Oh, this picture needs a worthy caption...

It is a hippo, and if I am not mistaken, he is packing a bottle of beer, and is wearing what very much looks like a SS helmet:

(And, I can confirm, the yellow road sign behind his head warns of Kangaroos.)

Just to put him in context, here he is hanging with his mates:

We found him prominently displayed at the 2010 Kirmes... and we are still not sure what to make of him...

note: okay, a few people have advised me that the hippos are NOT wearing SS helmets, just standard storm trooper helmets with an Iron Cross... very different animal apparently. But still, I'm quite sure they are meant to be hippos, and that IS a bottle of beer... I stand firm on that.

I have just learnt ...

that it's not just cyclonic storms that get names here ( Xynthia passed Düsseldorf yesterday arvo and wrecked much havoc)... but so do ALL meteorological lows AND highs...

WHO, I wonder actually gets to name them?

And, are they subjected to the same rules and regulations (here in Germany) as humans - who must submit names for state approval to ensure they don't give their off-spring ridiculous monikers?

Curious minds wish to know...

Something (else) I'd never considered in raising a bi-cultural child...

Guess which one of the following options the Caspi-Man believes?

There is a man called Santa Claus who will bring him a present!

There is a man called St Nicholas who will bring him a present!

There is a man called the Weihnachtsman who will bring him a present!

There is a man called Father Christmas who will bring him a present!

There is an entity called the Christkindl who will bring him a present!

There is a man called Kris Kringle who will bring him a present!

ALL OF THE ABOVE EXSIST AND WILL EACH BRING HIM A PRESENT!!!

St Nicholas and The Weihnachtsman, catching up for a chat on German Childrens' Television.

(Presumably ensuring they've got their pressie lists sorted and don't mess up by giving the same child the same gift.)

Brilliant things about Germany No.227

The refreshing honesty and lack of 'choice' when it comes to the purchasing of "feminine hygeine products". 'Cause, let's face it - how much choice do you actually really need?

Clearly, german women are not fools to be seduced by packaging when it comes to the marketing of such necessities.

You'll find no 'limited release' fancy boxes in this seasons colours for them. ('Cause really, who's meant to see the packaging?) Here is just the basic 2 or 3 different products, in 2 sizes, no more than 2 brands per store, and, MOST BRILLIANT OF ALL - available in boxes of 56. Practical and economical.

Evidence of cultural differences No.354

WHY OH WHY can't super market cashiers here PACK your purchases like they do elsewhere???????

And WHY, Oh WHY do they feel the need to speed race your purchases over the scanner? IT'S NOT A RACE PEOPLE! Meanwhile, I'm stuggling to ensure the potatoes aren't squashed on top of the eggs, the Caspi-Man's not shoplifting Kindersurprises, and scrambling to find my wallet.

I'm happy the cashiers get to sit, but I do miss the packing part of the service.

Brilliant Things About Germany No. 226

That often it can surprise you with the unexpected... even when doing a routine shop at the local supermarket.

Yesterday, for the first time ever I encountered THIS at the cooked meat counter. Apparently it's called "Spanferkel". And it's spit-roasted pig. Where I come from - people tend to spit-roast the other end...

Wickie (pronounced Vicki) & the strong men...

Wickie's father is the leader (chief? president? nominated head?) of a clan of vikings. Wickie appears seasonally @ 7pm on KiKa (Kinder channel) and is hugely popular in our household. I'm not sure who enjoys Wickie more - the Caspi-Man or the Ger-Man. Suffice to say that the Ger-Man's been enjoying Wickie for longer.

In the first episode of the first season of Wickie (produced several generations ago) Wickie is proven to be one of the most intelligent members of the viking clan after winning a rock moving competition against head-honcho-Papa, after challenging his authority.

.

Since then, in every ensuing episode (and there are many), Wickie accompanies Papa and his "strong men" on many viking-type adventures that include fighting and pilliging (but, understandably, not any raping).

A fellow Düsseldorfian based Australian friend of mine, Dr Jo, has recently, curtesy of her 2 year old son, also become aquainted with Wickie. She was MOST impressed. "What a wonderful role-model Wickie is!" She proclaimed to all & sundry. "And the show must have been so ahead of it's time. Pioneering the way for girls."

.

Because in spite of the Vicki name, the 'Dora the Explorer' style bangs & bob hair-styling, and the skirt wearing, Wickie is in fact A BOY. (I had initially made the same assumption until ther Ger-Man set me firmly straight.)

.

Ahh, what can you expect in a country where all the strong female role-models (think Marlene Deitchrich, Barbara Becker) choose to leave, leaving icons such as Heidi Klum for the young to aspire to. To spite having a female leader, for most practical purposes (equal pay, childcare options, discriminatory hiring practices, etc) Germany does have a looooooong way to go on the road to equal rights.

.

Makes you wonder how different it might be if Wickie had been a girl.

Thank you Deutsche Bahn for making me chuckle...

The German Rail high speed trains, or ICEs (Inter City Express) as they're locally known, are rather impressive, and go rather fast... and in every 2nd class carriage they have changing LCD displays, in English & Deutsch, to inform passengers of important things such as the current speed (especially when it hits 300kms/hr), the date and time, up coming stations, and helpful reminders to not forget bags and umbrellas, etc...

but last week, on arriving at the Frankfurt Airport station (on the Munich to Dortmund train), the display said:

"We are pleased to take leave of our guests."

Brilliant Things About Germany No.225

It is very easy, and perfectly legal to buy clinical contact lenses over the internet.

Without a prescription. And for cheaper than what you pay for the "gap" (ie. the bit not covered by private Australian health insurances).

I am sure that this would not be considered 'brilliant' by optitricians anywhere, but from where I am 'looking', it is pretty damn convienient.

Brilliant Things About Germany no.224

The "Seasonal Fridge Extension".

Aka "The Balcony".

Aka "The Window Sill". Or (if you have one) - "The Garden".

Whatever it is called, storing your fresh 6 kilo Turkey, chilling the bubbly, beer and cream torte - (and other Christmas treats) never seems to be a problem.

The Christmas Markets -

in Düsseldorf have officially opened.

And, I'm beginning to sense a recurrent theme:

Christmas 2006:

(Caspi-Man on green tractor)

Christmas 2007:

(Caspi-Man on blue/yellow tractor)

Christmas 2008:
(Caspi-Man on blue/yellow tractor)

To be fair - he also likes the fire-engines and the little areoplane. And, I must admit I quite like the Glühwein stand next door.

Brilliant Things About Germany No.223

The KINO.

As in Cinema.

Or, more precisely - the cinema candy bar.

Not because it's more reasonably priced than those in other countries (because, just like other countries- it most definitely is not!), nor because it has such a great range of snacks (although the nachos with guacamole or cheesey dip rate a mention), but rather- BECAUSE YOU CAN BUY GROG to drink while you watch the movie.

Even when it's an afternoon viewing of Der Mund Bär.
Or should that be - especially when it's an afternoon viewing of Der Mund Bär!

Brilliant things about Germany No. 222

The Kindergarten.

Where your child DOES behave. And if it stays over lunch - it WILL use cutlery and chew with its mouth shut.

These things, alas, do not happen in the home... not even if you use threats, bribes, and/or positive role modeling. Attempts to create the same "peer" atmosphere by inviting 3-4 of the said child's friends over for a meal - also doesn't work. (You'll just have 4 times the farm-yard behaviour your own child likes to exhibit at the table.)

How on earth do the Kindergarten teachers manage it?

Evidence of cultural differences No. 353.

The Birthday...

Today the Caspi-Man is staying home from Kindergarten. He will be tomorrow too. Although the Caspi-Man feels fine - the doctor says that he's contagious and should be quarantined for at least 3 days. Given that Friday is a public holiday (Re-unification day) this effectively means the Caspi-Man is not back at Kindergarten til next Monday. The Caspi-Man is sorely disappointed - as today it is his favourite teacher's birthday and she was bringing in treats for morning tea.

Birthdays are celebrated somewhat differently here in Germany - as an Australian friend of mine learnt in her first year here. Keen to assimilate - and potentially extend her social network - she decided to invite a bunch of (10, or so) "workmates" to a nearby restaurant the following day to help celebrate her first birthday in Deutschland. She was anticipating the Aussie deal, you know - where everyone comes along, springs for their own meal and usually throws in a bit extra so that the guests collectively contribute enough to cover the birthday girl/boy's evening. She was thrilled when everyone accepted her invitation (so much popularity in such a short time!) that is, until she got home that night and told her (German) hubby.

"You do know," her told her, "That you'll be footing the bill for everyone."

Er.... no... She didn't know.

Yep, here in Deutschland, if it's your birthday - it's your shout. (But guests are obligated to bring pressies, and sing "Zum Geburtstag viel Glueck" and often also the english "Happy Birthday" song - but sans the Hip hip horays.) There is no culture of BYO (either in restaurants or privately) and so, for fiscal reasons, many birthdays go widely uncelebrated.

There is also a superstitious taboo about celebrating early. If your birthday falls on a Monday - there's no option to celebrate it on the preceding weekend. It's considered to be an extremely bad omen. And, what if some horrid misfortune (ie. death) befalls you BEFORE your actual birthday, and you've celebrated something that hasn't actually happened?
("Well," my mother said on hearing this, "At least you've had a good party before signing out.")

In the Caspi-Man's kindergarten - the parents are expected to provide morning tea for the entire group on their child's birthday (or on the following Monday if it has fallen on the weekend). I was quite touched that the teachers also observe this custom. (Although I don't really believe that Frau Lehrerin's mama & papa will be there - doing the catering...)

Evidence of cultural differences No. 352

Last night- just before sleep- the topic of the Ger-Man and my pillow-talk turned to "Whistle-blowing". As late night conversations sometimes do.

(Romantic creatures, aren't we? Nothing like the exposure of a bit of corporate corruption or organisational misconduct to spice things up in the bedroom...)

During our discussion I was stunned to learn that in Deutschland - a "whistle-blower" is generally referred to as a "Nestbeschmutzer", which translates as a "nest-fouler" or "nest-dirtier".

Which, it must be said- has a slightly different connotation, no?

Brilliant things about Germany no.221.

The abundance of Summer festivals in all their incarnations. There is not a weekend that goes by without some public celebration to be attended.

There are shooting festivals (not many guns - but plenty of traditional costumes and beer drinking), street festivals (lots of music and beer drinking), book festivals (books and beer drinking), cultural festivals (this weekend French in honour of Bastille Day- only a bit of beer drinking - but lots of French wine!) and, here in Duesseldorf for the next fortnight it's also the Kirmes am Rhein - which is basically just an enormous side show alley (plenty of rides and yep- you guessed it - beer drinking!).

The flip-side of these festivals is their notable absence in the winter months. November boasts St Martin's Day, December has Christmas, but then it is pretty much a public-celebration wasteland through to Karneval...

Mental note to self:

It is probably not the wisest of ideas to tell the Ger-Man how well his country men cope with defeat and to suggest that it is perhaps a well-developed cultural feature. (I am nothing if not subtle.)

Yes, it was quite a subdued crowd making their way home from football watching events last night, and I was incredibly touched watching the after-game coverage on TV.

The German team were so dignified, resolved and stoic. None of that howling, bawling and grass thumping seen by some other teams. Honestly, Herr Ballack showed all the resolute, sombre, contained suffering of a Jane Austin-created character. The only detraction was the dubious facial hair sported by a few of his fellow team-members. (Well, that and the constant spitting. What is it with footballers and public spitting?)

The only consolation (as weak as it is) is that at least we weren't kept awake all night by ecstatic revelers...