Coat Tales

Things didn't improve with the Caspi-Man yesterday. He has a virus and an ear infection and has been feeling downright miserable. The doctor prescribed an apothecy of potions and chicken soup. He always prescribes chicken soup. Did you know it was possible to make chicken soup from scratch while balancing 15 kilos of snuggly, miserable, toddler on one hip? Until yesterday neither did I.

The Ger-Man decided that one of us should still go to the Kindergarten's Easter function , make a show, and deliver the ANZACs. And as he was also feeling poorly (yep, it's an infirmary here at the moment) he decided it should be me. It was actually very pleasant (it's that sort of kindergarten) but after an hour, I made my excuses to leave. (Actually I didn't make excuses - I was perfectly honest and told the truth- I had the oppotunity to go SHOPPING. FOR ME. ALONE. SANS TODDLER. No-one begrudged me. I left with blessings.)

But it was not for "fun" shopping I left. Oh no. I had a mission.

You see, I need a new coat.

This is not something new. I have needed a new coat for ages. Infact, my quest for a new coat has now spanned five years and three continents. (Yes, really).

In my quest I have tried on coats in the best department stores of London, Paris, Berlin, Copenhagen, New York, San Fransisco, Sydney, and Wellington. (Yes, really.)

(And yes, I do know how pretentiously-wanky that sounds.)

I have tried on coats in many towns and cities inbetween.

I have tried on more coats than I care to remember. I have tried on more coats than I can ever hope to remember. (The Ger-Man will attest to this. He has helped me try on more coats than he'd ever anticipated in his wildest dreams. And I'm quite sure that coats don't feature in his wildest dreams. Scarves maybe, but not coats.)

This quest has become epic.

In the desperation of my search I have even tried on coats that cost as much as a full year's rent. (Luckily none of these coats were quite right - but given the length and breadth of the quest I suspect the Ger-Man would have happily shelled out that much to bring the quest to an end.)

Once, in Max-Mara, 2 years ago, I almost found it. On special even. The perfect coat. But it was in chocolate brown rather than black. (The Ger-Man asked at least seven times - were they really really really sure they didn't have it in black? - but alas they were.) One cannot really wear grey pants with a brown coat. Well maybe one can, but I can't.

The problem is I had/have the perfect coat. It was a spontaneous purchase in late winter of '97, from a Table Eight outlet store in Stones Corner, Brisbane. It's pure merino wool and was on sale for about $au 125. It was classic, slightly edgy, stylish, and warm. I loved this coat.

Sadly, after serving me well and keeping me warm through many adventures, over many years, this coat is now well beyond it's prime. Its sleek black sheen is now grey and mottley, its large velvet covered buttons are worn and frayed, it has been dry-cleaned to the point of smelling like a chemistry lab, and it has stretched till its elbows now look like elephant knees.


Who knew it would prove so hard to find a replacement? I am thinking of updating my CV and putting "finding the perfect coat" under hobbies and interests.

No other coat I have tried looks as good or even fits properly. Because I couldn't go cold, last year I purchased a coat that on the surface appeared almost ok. But it is cheap, and shoddy, I'm forever trying to put my hands, loose change and tissues in its fake pockets, and now the wool is balling under the arms and along the rump. I've already shaved it twice. It will not last much longer.

And yesterday's snatched shopping hour uncovered no golden coat- grail. The quest will have to continue... it is good to have hobbies right?